Broken heart

Thursday, July 23, 2009 @ 5:45 AM

Whenever i see you, i always gain more hurt. Like today, the message were almost all i send. I felt hurt at the time where you say you just don't like me at all. Before that, Yinli helped me to message you and asks if you likes me or not and i was really happy, although you say alil bit or something. I'm really happy. Soon, after 2 - 4 message with Yinli, you told her you doesn't likes me anymore. I really feel hurt..

What is so good about Chuiching that i can never be compare with her? If is studies, i don't mind working even harder for you. I swear i really don't mind a single bit at all. All i ever wanted was you. Whenever i see you during recess/after school's dismissal, i always try to avoid you/run away/don't look at you. I can't do that.. You are irresistible :( Days after days, i tried to forget you but i couldn't.

I really wish to stop loving you or else i wouldn't have to run away from you.. I wonder, why is love to cruel? We can't be together with the person we liked/loved at all.. Why must it always depends on fate/destiny? Is it so important? Why doesn't God give us a chance? I felt hurt.. very hurt.. deeply in hurt.. I wonder if you still cares about me now? I wonder and wonders.. I doubt you don't at all..

My heart breaks when you wanted to go to ACS HIGH, Boys' school (if i'm not wrong).. I'm silly to think you might be gay :X I scare you will be with other girls.. I'm afraid of all this stuffs.. I wanted you to be mine.. I'm selfish and sensitive. That is the reason why i always quarreled with Minglong.. I want to love you wholeheartedly, treasure you and not repeating the same mistakes that i done in the past..

Even Yinghui last time says, i always help others in their relationship but why didn't i help myself? Outside friends says i'm very good and always helping others on their relationship but why don't i help myself instead? I'm deeply hurt and yet, there's a hole in my heart.. bleeding non-stop like water that kept on falling downwards from the tap.. Helping to heal others but not healing mine..


The person who i loved the most, can hurt me the deepest.